Written by: Jalyn Holcomb
9/26/23
"If we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot disown himself." - 2 Timothy 2:13
I started writing my story of how God has worked in my life on September 25, 2023. As I was writing, I kept second guessing. I did not feel fully convicted in exactly what I was writing about for this particular story. Yes, I went through some hardship, and I had learned some things, but now I am truly understanding what God has taught me through basketball and just being here at Lipscomb.
Today, September 26, 2023, I came down on a teammate's foot in practice and completely dislocated my ankle. They took me straight to the doctor and after some evaluation, they quickly provided me with local anesthesia and forcefully shifted my foot back into place. The bones crunching to get back into place was a sound I would like to go without hearing for the rest of my life. It was extremely painful to say the least.
A couple of hours went by, and I was back at the office getting an MRI. If you have ever been in an MRI, you know they are very loud. The radiographer asked me if I had a preference for music. Quickly, I said no, but as she was getting me fixed to go in the very intimidating sphere, I blurted out that I would like to listen to Christian music. While I was lying there, the first song that entered the headphones was "Gratitude" by Brandon Lake. I have heard this song a bunch of times, but this time was more beautiful than the last. A teardrop fell from my eye as the words fell on my mind and heart. This is my fifth year of basketball, my last year to play the sport that I love. I might get told tomorrow that I will have to get surgery and be out the whole first half of the season. I am upset and honestly angry. I have worked so hard for this sport, and I have stuck it out. I want to win a championship, but will I even be able to contribute now? These thoughts had been drowning my brain for the last few hours. However, I was listening to these words:
"So I throw up my hands
and praise you again and again
'cause all that I have is a hallelujah,
hallelujah."
I sat there, upset, but a wave of peace was around me.
One of the last songs that played was "I Lift My Hands" by Chris Tomlin.
"Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms are a fortress for the weak
let faith arise."
I sat there with a couple more tears streaming down the side of my face now. The Lord was there. He was with me. I was reminded of the verse: "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" - Romans 8:28. I love God. I know He is going to work good through this upcoming journey.
As I am sitting in my room right now, with my leg propped up above my heart, I turned on my favorite song: "Even When It Hurts" by Hillsong United. (A lot of song references, bear with me.)
"Even when my strength is lost
I'll praise you
Even when I have no song
I'll praise you
Even when it's hard to find the words
Louder then, I'll sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise"
Wow. It finally clicked. I am sitting here, upset, but it is not the end of my story. The Lord has been faithful to me this far, I know He will be faithful to me in every day to come. So, why not praise Him? I will lift up his name and praise Him again and again, because He is a faithful God. That is what I have learned throughout my career of basketball and my time here at Lipscomb. In the midst of struggle, in the depths of pain, I know the Lord is working for good. His faithfulness is unfailing, and his love is immeasurable. Two years ago, maybe even last year, I would have been devastated, but there is a certain peace over me now. I know I am in good hands. I know the Lord works miracles. I know that even if I can not be of use on the court, I can still use the gifts God has given me to serve others, even if that means doing so from a bench. I am beyond grateful for the people God has placed in my life, the gift of basketball he has given me, and the never ending flood of His love. What a pleasure it is to know this is my God. I will praise Him even when it hurts…
I am not saying this is going to be easy by any means. I know these next couple of days, weeks, and even months will be hard, but I am not alone. I have breath in my lungs, and it is there to praise my God, the God who can work all things for good.
9/28/23
I couldn't just leave y'all guessing. Yesterday, on September 27, 2023, I got the results for my MRI. I was very positive about the whole thing, but deep down I knew it was going to be pretty bad. I was hopeful the recovery time would be quick. He explained that I had torn almost all of the ligaments in my ankle. They just came straight off the bone. I am getting surgery on Monday of next week, and I will be out for at least four months. That is longer than half of my season. So, not to sound like a pessimist, but I can pretty much count my basketball days over.
I just remember not hearing a word he said after, "early February." I sat in silence as my mom and trainer asked the doctor questions. We got my surgery scheduled, and as soon as I finished signing the papers, my lip started quivering. A big lump evolved in my throat and suddenly a tear slid down my cheek. I tried to keep in the tears, but a drop would slowly trickle down my face one after the other. I had no control over it. I got in the car and my heart was aching more than I could ever imagine. I cried to myself until my eyes were so sensitive to the air that I fell asleep.
My first journal entry sounded good, it did. I still believe all that I wrote, but right now I am in a tougher mental state.
I am sitting here on my couch with the worst pain I have ever experienced. Even with this terrible pain, my heart hurts worse. It feels like it is cracked right down the middle. I have never felt pain this immense.
I have worked so hard to get here. I came on a team that had only won four games. I believed I was going to help change a program in a year. I was naive to say the least. We won only seven games my freshmen year. Every year has come with its battles, but I have stuck it out. I am finally starting to see the fruits of the hard work, but I am not getting a chance to play it out. I am sad. I am frustrated. I know my hard work means something, but why am I having to watch from the sidelines when I worked so hard for this? I don't know. But, I do know that the Lord is faithful, and even though this pain is indescribable, I know I have to hold onto that. I will still praise His name.
I have breath in my lungs. I will praise His name. It might just be with a little less happiness, and a little more grief sprinkled in. I know he can handle it. He's a big God.
"When times are good, be happy;
but when times are bad, consider this:
God has made the one
as well as the other.
Therefore, no one can discover
anything about their future."
- Ecclesiastes 7:14
I will take the good and bad and get along in life, because the Lord has designed even the bad days for a purpose.
