Dear Graduating Student-Athlete,
 
Congrats, you did it! If you're feeling all the feels, that is normal. This is part of the process when going through transitions in life. There have been studies done that show, "when athletes retire many struggle to identify with anything other than their sport, which for many, has been the principal focus of their life for many years."¹  I felt this when I finished my college playing career. I remember sitting at my cubicle desk and thinking to myself, I have now gone pro in something else, with the NCAA commercial echoing in my mind. I thought to myself, I am paid professionally to design for this company, when I know I am an absolute beginner! With that thought, I remember thinking how much more competent I felt as a "professional athlete" than sitting amongst other business professionals in the company's boardroom. The reality was, the majority of the fifteen+ years of my life prior to going pro in the workforce had focused on refining me to be successful in sport.
 
Now, twenty years later since graduating as a student-athlete, I can tell you there are things you are going to love, things you're going to miss, and things you will find yourself grieving; and all of those feelings are worth feeling and processing through. They are worth it, because you are transitioning out of a big part of what you spent a lot of time developing. It's been a big part of what made you feel like "you" and how people recognized you. You have achieved what less than 2% of high school athletes (1 in 57) go on to do, which is to play at a NCAA Division I school, and if not Division 1, what little than over 7% of high school athletes (about 1 in 13) go on to do, which is play a varsity sport in college.² This is a significant stat, and one that merits recognition in your journey. In this next year or so, you're likely going to have mixed emotions of loving, missing, and grieving. This is normal because you're transitioning from a role you have played for a long time, and beginning to embark on a new unfamiliar chapter in your life. 

• You're going to love not having to manage all that you have the last four-six years in college.
• You're going to love not having to be Covid tested, quarantined in your dorm/apartment with socially distanced visits through your window, and possibly being sidelined from NCAA play. 
• You're going to love not having to double check to then triple check to make sure your alarm is set and ready for 6am weights. 
• You're going to love when the day of the fitness test comes this next season for your teammates and you only witness their "joyous anticipation" and follow via texts and social media while you calmly sit and sip on your favorite beverage taking in what you are now relieved to not have to do anymore (all the while deeply kinda missing that you don't have to do the fitness test anymore, it really is a paradox).
• You're going to love not having homework, like a 5-20 page paper due, an exam, quiz, and lab all happening in a 72 -hour period while also participating in 20 hours of NCAA athletics.
• You will love having more free time, and weekends. Weekends, yes, for the first time in perhaps your entire remembered life, you will have game free/practice free weekends. I'll be honest, you kinda might not know what to do with yourself. You'll initially love being able to sleep in, and have evenings to go out, without having to worry about game day curfews. And yet, another paradox really, you'll deeply miss that you don't have a game to prepare for, or a light session organized between matches to refine play and hang with your teammates. 
• You will miss "Christmas in August" and the "free" gear you got. However, you might be relieved that your wardrobe can now expand beyond two primary colors representing your university branding. There is also something kinda cool about having money from your full time job to go buy any brand of shoes or clothing and being free to wear it without infringing on any team sponsorships. 
• You will miss game days. You will miss the locker room hype, you will miss the fans cheering, you will miss giggling with your teammates and you will miss the road trips. This is normal, and when you feel this, text your teammates, both the graduated and non-graduated and let them know how much you relish the memories made with them. They likely will be missing you too.
• You will grieve moving away from friends, mentors, possibly coaches, and professors after you graduate. You will grieve moving away from the college and town that was likely very formative for you in your young adult life. 
• You will grieve changes in relationships, and changes in your known identity as a "student-athlete." 
• You may end up grieving your full time job when it keeps you behind a desk or indoors on a beautiful day.
• You will grieve no longer having a spring break, and summer break. 
• You will grieve that your playing days have come to a competitive end. 

"Grief is a natural response to loss. It's the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away."³ The reality of athletic careers, regardless of the level achieved, they all come to an end; and when they do, it can feel like a death, and it merits processing. A wise grief counselor once shared with me a metaphor when it comes to grief, she said it's like an ocean wave, we are better off to dive into the wave (grief) and allow it to roll over us, feeling its power and movement while maintaining some graceful flow with it. With that she warned, if we try to avoid the wave and attempt to return to more shallow ground, it's probable that our feet will be knocked out from underneath us as we find ourselves exposed and washed ashore. Grief can be powerful, and it is more helpful and within our control to lean into it, than trying to avoid it.
 
So how do we deal with grief? It is suggested that it's important to accept your loss. Call it what it is, extend compassion to yourself, name what you miss, and recall the great memories. As we do this, consider what it is about those memories that you love. Those memories can become more and more integral to informing your true self as you understand why those memories mean something to you. Most athletes will find themselves kinda lost in "who they are" without their sport identity. Myriam Glez from Athletes Soul names, "Transitioning from sports is a multifaceted process and isn't simply just getting a new job. You are a human being with complex emotions. Embarking on a new career doesn't eliminate the psychological and physical changes you may experience throughout the transition."⁴ It will take some time to adjust and figure out that you truly do matter beyond what you have achieved in your sport. It's a process and important to accept that it's ok to not feel ok, and to pursue greater meaning in your life beyond what you do, and embrace that you are more than your sport named you to be.

As a Christ follower, I came to realize that we are all a beloved creation of God. You have purpose, passion, and a personality that is unique to you. Your life matters, and how you live into your design in Christ can have continued effective change in the world. While your playing career may not ever be in the lights like it had been in college, it is still a part of your personal story. God has purpose in that for you and His Kingdom. Embrace the change and ask the Lord to help you see Him in and through life around you and in you. Sport was something that we did, and it mattered, but it is not what made you significant. What makes you significant is that you are a child of God, and He wants to continue to use your life in ways that are special and impactful. Lean into Him, and whisper in prayer, "here I am, send me." This has a way of relinquishing what was to embrace what could be. 
 
Training Ground: 

1. Acknowledge your pain.
2. Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions.
3. Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you.
4. Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.
5. Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically.
6. Recognize the difference between grief and depression.

Coping After Athletic Retirement⁶

• Be ready for the transition to take time and accept the need to grieve your former life. It is ok to be sad and sometimes depressed. Be patient and accepting through this journey.

• Consider a deceleration plan especially in the areas of nutrition, exercise and sleep and establish good health habits straight away (for example, setting up a daily routine).

• Create your own support group of people you feel comfortable speaking to and asking for help if needed: family, friends, mentors, former teammates or coaches.

• Initiate work to explore and redefine your new role. Do not skip this, as finding purpose and aligning your future projects with your core values is the foundation to your next chapter of life.

• Throughout the transition, consider working with professionals who can guide you: life coaches, psychologists, nutritionists, personal trainers, etc.

• Don't forget to explore techniques and practices to support your mental health, well-being and spirituality such as relaxation, breathing exercises, meditation, writing a journal, going in nature, communion, etc.

Spiritual Direction Questions:

• How does it make you feel that God is desiring to tell the world about Him through your personal everyday life? 
• How do you experience God through your grief? 
• What do you need from God?
• What might God's invitation be to you in this new season of your life? 
• What blessings might he have for you through finding your worth more in Him instead of your successes or failures?

References:
  ¹ Wagsworth, Dr. Chris. "Sport People Can Face Retirement Identity Crisis."  Sport and University of Portsmouth Exercise Psychology. September 14, 2017. "This study showed that, unfortunately, when athletes retire many struggle to identify with anything other than their sport, which for many, has been the principal focus of their life for many years. Therefore, sport organisations must do more to support the non-sport lives of their athletes." Retrieved From: https://www.port.ac.uk/news-events-and-blogs/news/sportspeople-can-face-retirement-identity-crisis
 
 ² Google search: "What percentage of high school athletes go on to play college sports?" Retrieved from: https://www.google.com/search?q=what+percentage+of+high+school+athletes+go+on+to+play+college+sports&oq=what+percentage+of+high+school+athle&aqs=chrome.9.0i512l2j69i57j0i512l7.13659j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
 
 ³  Help Guide: Coping with Grief and Loss, https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
 
⁴ Glez, Myriam. Transitioning from Sports is a Complex Process to not be Underestimated. January 15, 2020. Retrieved from: https://www.athletessoul.org/transition-plan.html
 
⁵ Help Guide: Coping with Grief and Loss, https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm
 
⁶ Glez, Myriam. Transitioning from Sports is a Complex Process to not be Underestimated. January 15, 2020. Retrieved from: https://www.athletessoul.org/transition-plan.html


An additionally great resource is Athletes Soul, specifically addressing transition from sports: https://www.athletessoul.org/transition-from-sports.html