Written by: Lauren Higginbotham

Some people have no idea what they want to be when they grow up, what to major in, or what career path sounds like the most fitting and fulfilling for them. That was not the case for me. I have wanted to be a coach since I was in the 7th grade, and the plan has never wavered.
 
Actually, the route to get here theoretically went exactly as 9th-grade Lauren planned, though the years since then have definitely had their wild twists and turns. When I reflect on my "why" for coaching; however, I feel that it has evolved significantly over the years.
 
In middle school, I learned the importance of hard work, integrity, and leadership from some incredible coaches and teachers. I loved all sports and anything related to them: practice, working out, or just playing. Being around it all the time and trying to reflect those qualities I was taught to others sounded like a fun gig.
 
In high school, I continued to be around sports and wanted to continue my softball journey into college. Softball felt like something God had blessed me with the desire and ability to do, and continuing it into college became my dream. There were a few instances where softball became the most prioritized thing in my life, and I remember learning the lesson early on that softball is something I love, but it is not the most valuable thing that I love, and really isn't even close. Many of my friends and basically all of the kids I coach and recruit now travel the country to play softball. That wasn't necessarily my story, because I played for a small, local travel ball team. It was then that I decided I wanted to not only be a coach, but also a college coach, and I wanted to help give kids a future in the sport they love, regardless of their background. 
 
Throughout my time as a college athlete, though, I learned some really hard lessons and many of those have molded me into the person I am now, as well as the coach I am, and the lessons I want to help others walk through. I could write about many of them here, but there are a few that sum it up.
 
Throughout the years of trying to choose a college and when I finally got there, there were many moments when I was consumed with anxiety and stress about my future, my performance, how my teammates and coaches saw me, if I was making the most of my experience, if I'd ever be as good as I wanted to be, and everything in between. It felt like I put in so much effort, managed my time well, excelled in classes, took the extra swings every day, did the option workouts, upheld the team standards, and all for what? I played, but not every day. I read the mental performance books, but still, everyone told me that my mind was what was holding me back. I had some success, but others worked less and had more.
 
For so long, I was frustrated and confused and honestly, probably a bit jealous. Somewhere on the back half of my college career, I was so angry. I thought the Bible said people were supposed to reap what they sowed? I was using everything those great influences taught me, the dedication to the process, working hard when no one sees, and being a great teammate, only to meet a pretty average performance. I thought if you worked hard, it was supposed to pay off? This is when I had to ask myself… what are you really chasing here?
 
Obviously, every college athlete is chasing wins and success; why else would you go to practice every day? It's in those exhausted moments that force people to question their motivations and intentions, and that's when I learned the greatest lesson college sports taught me that I hope all my athletes are able to learn from me: you are in full control of the things you sow, but it is God who determines what you reap. We often think we know what the good things are that we want, and He is in control of giving you the best things that you need. In everything you do in life, sports included, you should work at it with everything you have (Colossians 3:23).
 
I will devote time and energy to my job, spend late nights and long weekends doing what my program needs, and I believe we will win championships. But material success is not God's promise to us and never has been. He has promised to mold us into people more like Him, when that is what we seek.
 
I want myself and my athletes to give our utmost effort into sports, in the same way we do to all aspects of our lives, because it is the right thing to do and we are so lucky even to have these opportunities. There are plenty of athletes and teams across the country who will work hard enough and smart enough that they "deserve" to win, but in the end of each season, only one team in the nation can be the National Champion, only one player can be the player of the year, and only a few will receive accolades. But in those times when you are giving it your full effort and exhausting all resources, and it still doesn't go your way, will you point the finger at God and those around you? Will you stay frustrated with yourself forever? Do you have a "why" that can sustain you when things are not going your way, or they are going your way and it still doesn't feel like enough? Or will you know and learn that there are a myriad of things in life that just will not go your way? Sometimes we don't get what we think we deserve, but does that make it all for nothing? Or can you trust that we are only in control of our character and our effort, and it is actually a very good thing that the rest is up to God? 
 
In summary, I have learned a lot over the years that has all shaped my motivation for wanting to become a coach. I want to teach girls to compete, lead, be incredible teammates, and dominate at the highest level. Most importantly, I want to be an example of working at something with all of your heart, and surrendering the outcomes to the Lord, because in the end, if I reap good things, I trust that the Lord will fulfill me with good things. This is different than me working for God so He will work for me, but more so doing what is honorable and right because that is the kind of heart we want to have, and trusting the rest is up to Him. Maybe not in my timeline or the way I expected, but He is faithful and will see his people through.
 
Above all, I hope I can help my athletes find their "why". For some, it may be similar faith stories, and others might find purpose in their sport in other ways, but I hope to always show them, and remember for myself, that your effort is never wasted and your steps are never purposeless.